/muhnch'kin/ [from the squeaky-voiced little people in L. Frank Baum's "The Wizard of Oz"] n. A teenage-or-younger micro enthusiast hacking BASIC or something else equally constricted. A term of mild derision --- munchkins are annoying but some grow up to be hackers after passing through a {larval stage}. The term {urchin} is also used. See also {wannabee}, {bitty box}.Need we say more?
| Real Men | think they're brothers in arms. |
| Real Roleplayers | hide behind them. |
| Loonies | harass them with stupid suggestions. |
| Munchkins | say "I'm a Real Man, too!" |
| Real Men | protect them, on the off chance they may come up with something useful. |
| Real Roleplayers | sigh with relief to know they're not alone, and then get their characters involved in love affairs and death feuds. |
| Loonies | harass them with stupid suggestions. |
| Munchkins | say "I'm a Real Roleplayer, too!" |
| Real Men | ignore them. |
| Real Roleplayers | sometimes harass them back by taking a stupid suggestion and making it work. |
| Loonies | declare a pie fight at 20 paces ... and cheat. |
| Munchkins | try to imitate the jokes, and fall flat. |
| Real Men | attack them on sight. |
| Real Roleplayers | trick them into being cannon fodder. |
| Loonies | make reasonable-sounding suggestions that will get the Munchkin killed in an amusing way. |
| Munchkins | query, "What's a Munchkin?" |
| Real Men | play AD&D |
| Real Roleplayers | play RuneQuest III |
| Loonies | play Toon |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play Star Trek: The Roleplaying Game |
| Real Roleplayers | play Space Opera |
| Loonies | play a variant Spawn of Fashan |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play Gangbusters |
| Real Roleplayers | play Call of Cthulhu |
| Loonies | play a very variant Spawn of Fashan |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play Champions |
| Real Roleplayers | play Superworld |
| Loonies | play an extremely variant Spawn of Fashan |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play James Bond, 007 |
| Real Roleplayers | play Justice, Inc. |
| Loonies | play an unrecognizable variant Spawn of Fashan |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play Twilight 2000 |
| Real Roleplayers | play The Morrow Project |
| Loonies | play an extremely unrecognizable variant of Spawn of Fashan |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | play Chivalry and Sorcery |
| Real Roleplayers | play Pendragon |
| Loonies | play a variant of Spawn of Fashan so variant it shouldn't be called Spawn of Fashan anymore |
| Munchkins | play anything by TSR |
| Real Men | Play Macho Women With Guns/ |
| Real Roleplayers | Play Toon/ |
| Loonies | Don't care about the system. |
| Munchkins | Don't like silly FRP's. |
| Real Men | Play Carnivores. |
| Real Roleplayers | Play Herbivores. |
| Loonies | Play Richard Nixon. |
| Munchkins | Don't understand the game and make a character to take advantage of loop-holes to build a powerful character. |
| Real Men | play in Greyhawk/ |
| Real Roleplayers | play in Glorantha |
| Loonies | play in Southern California |
| Munchkins | play wherever has the most magic items |
| Real Men | read The General |
| Real Roleplayers | read White Dwarf |
| Loonies | read the last few pages of Dragon/ |
| Munchkins | read anything by TSR |
| Real Men | fight Red Dragons |
| Real Roleplayers | bluff the Ogres |
| Loonies | tell dirty jokes to Green Slime |
| Munchkins | do whatever gives the most experience/ |
| Real Men | use Broadswords/ |
| Real Roleplayers | use Rapiers and Main-Gauches |
| Loonies | use Stage Knives |
| Munchkins | use whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | throw Spears/ |
| Real Roleplayers | throw Bolas |
| Loonies | throw their friends' magic items |
| Munchkins | throw whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | shoot Long Bows/ |
| Real Roleplayers | shoot Crossbows |
| Loonies | shoot Catapults loaded with offal |
| Munchkins | shoot whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | use bare hands/ |
| Real Roleplayers | use chairs, chair legs or pokers |
| Loonies | use plastic Pepsi bottles or toothpaste |
| Munchkins | use, you guessed it, whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | throw Munchkins (can you blame them?) |
| Real Roleplayers | throw beer mugs, pool balls and rocks |
| Loonies | throw Nerf frisbees |
| Munchkins | are too busy running from the Real
Men/ |
| Real Men | cast Fireballs |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Find the Path |
| Loonies | cast Otto's Irresistible Nose-Picking |
| Munchkins | cast Smite Ruler and Transfer Loyalty of Populace |
| Real Men | hate Mirror Image |
| Real Roleplayers | are horrified by Trap the Soul |
| Loonies | can't stand Protection From Cantrips |
| Munchkins | hate Anti-Magic Shell |
| Real Men | cast Bladesharp 10 on their swords |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Demoralize on their foes |
| Loonies | cast Befuddle on their friends |
| Munchkins | cast Fireball |
| Real Men | cast Dominate Human on others |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Damage Resistance on their familiars/ |
| Loonies | cast Dominate Human on themselves |
| Munchkins | cast Meteor Swarm |
| Real Men | cast Berserker on themselves |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Heal Body |
| Loonies | cast Face Chaos on the Crimson Bat |
| Munchkins | cast Timestop |
| Real Men | don't use magic, but they'll let the mage cast Hawk Flight on them so they can pursue the foe |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Lend Language on the strangers they meet |
| Loonies | cast Mystic Mist in the town square |
| Munchkins | cast Enslave on the city guard |
| Real Men | research Ambidextrousness Spell |
| Real Roleplayers | research a Wisdom Spell that works with spells |
| Loonies | research Blind Wizard Eye Spell |
| Munchkins | research Control GM Spell |
| Real Men | use Body Weaponry |
| Real Roleplayers | use Shape Alteration |
| Loonies | use Sea Anemone Hypnosis |
| Munchkins | use Assume Godhood |
| Real Men | are Lawful Good |
| Real Roleplayers | don't use alignment |
| Loonies | are Amoral Silly |
| Munchkins | are whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | play Paladins |
| Real Roleplayers | play Clerics |
| Loonies | play street preachers |
| Munchkins | play Demigods |
| Real Men | play Dwarfs |
| Real Roleplayers | play Morokanths |
| Loonies | play a Dwarf-Elf halfbreed |
| Munchkins | play whatever gives the most plusses/ |
| Real Men | summon Ghosts |
| Real Roleplayers | summon Wraiths |
| Loonies | send in an AD&D troll wearing a sheet |
| Munchkins | summon Cerberus |
| Real Men | torture them |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Legend Lore/ |
| Loonies | tell puns to them |
| Munchkins | peek behind the GM's shield |
| Real Men | like Asmodeus |
| Real Roleplayers | like Cacodemon |
| Loonies | like Spiro Agnew |
| Munchkins | like Satan's grandfather |
| Real Men | worship Humakt/ |
| Real Roleplayers | worship Issaries/ |
| Loonies | worship Hare Krishna |
| Munchkins | worship whoever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | love Adamantine Claws |
| Real Roleplayers | love Repulsor Rays |
| Loonies | love Radioactive Teeth/ |
| Munchkins | love Uru's Hammer |
| Real Men | drink potions of Superheroism |
| Real Roleplayers | drink potions of Animal/Plant Control |
| Loonies | drink potions of Jell-O |
| Munchkins | drink potions of Deity Control |
| Real Men | wear rings of Elemental Control |
| Real Roleplayers | wear rings of Free Action |
| Loonies | wear rings of Smurf Control |
| Munchkins | wear rings of Infinite Wishes/ |
| Real Men | wield staves of Striking |
| Real Roleplayers | wield wands of Healing |
| Loonies | wield rods of styrofoam |
| Munchkins | wield staves of Deity Power |
| Real Men | wear Plate Mail |
| Real Roleplayers | wear Elven Chainmail |
| Loonies | wear Horse Barding |
| Munchkins | wear powered armor a la Starship Troopers |
| Real Men | wear a Helm of Brilliance |
| Real Roleplayers | wear a Helm of Telepathy |
| Loonies | wear a Helm of Blindness (``Works great against medusas'') |
| Munchkins | wear a Helm of 360-Degree Vision with Force Field |
| Real Men | don't use shields (can't wield a two-handed weapon) |
| Real Roleplayers | use a Kite Shield |
| Loonies | use a panty shield |
| Munchkins | don't get the previous joke/use a Shield of Automatic Parry |
| Real Men | fight bare-handed |
| Real Roleplayers | wear Gloves of Dexterity |
| Loonies | wear THE Glove of Michael Jackson Charisma |
| Munchkins | wear Gauntlets of Infinite Ring-Wearing |
| Real Men | wear Seven League Boots |
| Real Roleplayers | wear Boots of Stealth |
| Loonies | wear house slippers |
| Munchkins | wear Boots of Infinite Speed |
| Real Men | ride heavy war horses |
| Real Roleplayers | ride palfreys |
| Loonies | ride sheep |
| Munchkins | ride heavy war tyrannosauri |
| Real Men | like Tarl Cabot |
| Real Roleplayers | like Medea |
| Loonies | like Doctor Who |
| Munchkins | like Darth Vader/ |
| Real Men | have Black Cats |
| Real Roleplayers | have Owls |
| Loonies | have Slugs |
| Munchkins | have whatever gives the most plusses/ |
| Real Men | like the Pinis' elves |
| Real Roleplayers | like Tolkien's elves |
| Loonies | like Santa's elves |
| Munchkins | like Storm Giants with pointed ears |
| Real Men | like Tolkien's Dwarfs |
| Real Roleplayers | like Glorantha's Dwarfs |
| Loonies | like the Seven Dwarfs |
| Munchkins | like Earth Elementals with beards |
| Real Men | bring along burgers, fries, milkshakes, and pizza |
| Real Roleplayers | bring along iron rations |
| Loonies | bring along Froot Loops/ |
| Munchkins | bring along whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | read J.R.R. Tolkien ``Lord of the Rings'' |
| Real Roleplayers | read Robert Asprin's ``Thieves' World'' series |
| Loonies | read Robert Asprin's ``Myth'' series |
| Munchkins | read E. Gary Gygax |
| Real Men | fight giants or Rakshasas |
| Real Roleplayers | fight Mind-flayers or vampires |
| Loonies | fight Giant Frogs, Pixies or treants |
| Munchkins | fight ancient dragons and a tarrasque... simultaneously |
| Real Men | wake it up and THEN attack it. |
| Real Roleplayers | sneak away quietly. |
| Loonies | tie its shoelaces together. |
| Munchkins | have their 34th-level thief backstab it with their +17 Sword of Slay Anything, and then put all its treasure in one backpack and run away. |
| Real Men | attack; what the hell, no guts, no glory. |
| Real Roleplayers | leave the character who invoked the greater demon to deal with it. |
| Loonies | say, "Say the secret word and the duck will give you $100." |
| Munchkins | scream, "That's not fair! It's not in the Monster Manual!" |
| Real Men | send in their 7th level barbarian...alone. |
| Real Roleplayers | gather a lot of midrange-level mages and thieves, memorize a lot of Sleep, Stinking Cloud, Web, and Chaos spells, fly over the army, cast away, and let the thieves clean up. Then go do something not quite so cliche'. |
| Loonies | find a bowl of popcorn, a tall cliff, and two dozen or so Horns of Valhalla; toot away; and enjoy the show. |
| Munchkins | send in their 50th level paladin, 45th level ranger, and 38th level cleric/magic-user, memorize a lot of Chain Lightning spells, and attack from within a Cube of Force for the three rounds it would take. |
| Real Men | drink ale in the tavern and start bar fights. |
| Real Roleplayers | drink wine in the tavern and talk to everyone. |
| Loonies | order watermelon daquiris and start food fights. |
| Munchkins | say ``What's a town?'' |
| Real Men | Shout warcry, and wade into battle. |
| Real Roleplayers | Parry and counterattack; protect comrade's backs. |
| Loonies | Throw sword at opponent, then attack with scabbard and lunchbox. |
| Munchkins | Leap in with secret 'twisted lotus' ninja decapitation strike. |
| Real Men | In battle, with boots on, going down swinging. |
| Real Roleplayers | On deathbead, after lengthy dramatic farewell speech. |
| Loonies | Laughing while jumping into a portable hole, and carrying a bag of holding. |
| Munchkins | Die? You're kidding, right? |
| Real Men | Wherever he hangs up his two-hander |
| Real Roleplayers | Elsinor |
| Loonies | Toontown |
| Munchkins | Valhalla (after kicking out previous occupants) |
| Real Men | don't like magic, but if they have to play a mage, they'll be an invoker w/ lots of fireballs or a transmuter w/ strength and enlarge. |
| Real Roleplayers | enchanter or illusionist |
| Loonies | illusionist with ventriloquism, audible glamer, and spectral force, conjurer specializing in create banana peel spell, or a transmuter specializing in polymorph self into a random creature, plant, or object |
| Munchkins | a multi-classed
abjurer/ |
| Real Men | Slay it. Preferably alone and with bare hands. (is this a trick question or what?) |
| Real Roleplayers | Con it out of all its treasure, leaving the dragon (and the GM) thinking it got the better deal. |
| Loonies | Summon the Sta-Puft marshmallow man. |
| Munchkins | Kill it, make armor out of the hide, and then resurrect it as a familiar. |
| Real Men | use Laser Pistols/ |
| Real Roleplayers | use Stun Guns/ |
| Loonies | use Thermonuclear Hand Grenades/ |
| Munchkins | use whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | drive off the Bug-Eyed Monsters invading the Earth |
| Real Roleplayers | negotiate with the refugees from the evil Empire |
| Loonies | hitch a ride with Vogons |
| Munchkins | invade the BEMs' home planet and enslave them all |
| Real Men | watch the Star Wars films |
| Real Roleplayers | watch ``2001: A Space Odyssey/ |
| Loonies | watch ``The Three Stooges Go To Mars'' |
| Munchkins | watch the Star Trek films |
| Real Men | use Hyperspace/ |
| Real Roleplayers | use suspended animation |
| Loonies | use the Infinite Improbability Drive |
| Munchkins | push the button and it goes |
| Real Men | colonize Beta Lyrae |
| Real Roleplayers | colonize Alpha Centauri |
| Loonies | colonize Cygnus X-1 |
| Munchkins | colonize wherever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | read Isaac Asimov |
| Real Roleplayers | read Arthur C. Clarke |
| Loonies | read Bored of the Rings/ |
| Munchkins | read E. Gary Gygax |
| Real Men | like the Alien |
| Real Roleplayers | like the Moties |
| Loonies | like the beach ball from Dark Star |
| Munchkins | like E.T. |
| Real Men | play Heavy Worlders |
| Real Roleplayers | play Light Worlders/ |
| Loonies | play Sex Androids |
| Munchkins | play Enhanced Humans with all the advantages |
| Real Men | hang out at the Vulgar Unicorn |
| Real Roleplayers | hang out at the White Hart |
| Loonies | hang out at the Big Bang Burger Bar/ |
| Munchkins | hang out wherever they don't get carded |
| Real Men | like Batman (The Dark Knight) |
| Real Roleplayers | like Jericho |
| Loonies | like Bat-Mite/ |
| Munchkins | like Galactus |
| Real Men | like Batman, the Punisher, and Lobo |
| Real Roleplayers | like Zot!, Sandman, and Concrete |
| Loonies | like Elrod the Albino, Voice-Over, and Mr. Monster |
| Munchkins | like everything Marvel publishes |
| Real Men | use .44 Magnums |
| Real Roleplayers | use Walther PPKs |
| Loonies | use water pistols |
| Munchkins | use Infinite-Repeating Uzis |
| Real Men | like John Wayne |
| Real Roleplayers | like Claus Kinski |
| Loonies | like Curly |
| Munchkins | watch Saturday-morning cartoons |
| Real Men | like Raquel Welch |
| Real Roleplayers | like Adrienne Barbeau |
| Loonies | like Phyllis Diller |
| Munchkins | are far too young to know about Sex |
| Real Men | like Sean Connery |
| Real Roleplayers | like George Lazenby |
| Loonies | like David Niven |
| Munchkins | like Roger Moore |
| Real Men | play Gin |
| Real Roleplayers | play Bridge |
| Loonies | play Fizzbin/ |
| Munchkins | cheat at Poker |
| Real Men | listen to Bruce Springsteen |
| Real Roleplayers | listen to 14th-century madrigals |
| Loonies | listen to Weird Al Yankovic |
| Munchkins | watch MTV |
| Real Men | revere Worf |
| Real Roleplayers | like Data |
| Loonies | like Q |
| Munchkins | prefer the original Star Trek |
| Real Men | Tuff Enuff |
| Real Roleplayers | Games Without Frontiers |
| Loonies | Hairdresser on Fire |
| Munchkins | Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better |
| Real Men | fear dying with their boots off |
| Real Roleplayers | fear the death of a friend or loved one |
| Loonies | fear nothing |
| Munchkins | fear level drain |
| Real Men | read Soldier of Fortune and argue about whether the ads are real. |
| Real Roleplayers | read the Journal of Abnormal Psychology and argue about the point value of disadvantages. |
| Loonies | read National Lampoon and bitch about how it's gone downhill. |
| Munchkins | read comic books and argue about whether Spider-Man should have married MJ. |
| Real Men | ``Do the Dealer's Room'' |
| ... | hang out in the con suite |
| Real Roleplayers | go to seminars/ |
| Loonies | play video games |
| ... | do hoax zines |
| Munchkins | run and shout and cut in lines |
| Real Men | feel smug because they have a better build than 99% of the people there |
| Real Roleplayers | go to the panels and hang out |
| Loonies | watch movies like Earth Versus the Flying Saucers, and test how high their credit limit really is |
| Munchkins | do gaming |
| Real Men | watch MTV because they like the music |
| Real Roleplayers | turn the TV off because they can't hear the GM |
| Loonies | watch MTV because they run Beavis and Butthead |
| Munchkins | watch MTV because they can identify with the VJs. |
| ... | because Mommy won't let them watch it at home. |
| Real Men | like beer and pretzels |
| Real Roleplayers | do not consider Cheetos and Dr Pepper to be snack food, since one can live on them for months |
| Loonies | eat Veggie Pops |
| Munchkins | eat anything someone else buys |
| Real Men | vote for the (new) Charles Roberts awards from 3W |
| Real Roleplayers | vote for the Origins Awards |
| Loonies | come in at the end of the Origins ceremony to vote on the Silver Hatchets |
| Munchkins | vote for the Strategists Club awards |
| Real Men | like 20-siders |
| Real Roleplayers | use three 6-siders |
| Loonies | use 30-sided for everything |
| Munchkins | have them all, and like to roll as many as possible |
| Real Men | carry two each of 4-, 6-, 8-, 12- and 20-sided dice |
| Real Roleplayers | carry three six-sided dice for playing GURPS |
| Loonies | carry marbles and called them one-sided dice |
| Munchkins | carry shopping bags full of every kind of die imaginable |
| Real Men | play to the strains of ELO, Led Zeppelin and Meat Loaf |
| Real Roleplayers | like Ride of the Valkyries, Night on Bald Mountain and Danse Macabre |
| Loonies | play Spike Jones, Mantovani and Estonian all-tuba folk music all at the same time |
| Munchkins | play Van Halen, Whitesnake and Megadeth at levels that would crack stone |
| Real Men | don't watch TV; they think you should watch football in person. |
| Real Roleplayers | don't watch TV; all their favorite shows got taken off the air. |
| Loonies | don't watch TV; all their favorite shows got taken off the air within the first six episodes. |
| Munchkins | are watching what's left. |
| Real Men | Real Men play football or rugby. |
| Real Roleplayers | Real Roleplayers play the Survival Game. |
| Loonies | Loonies play Moopsball. |
| Munchkins | Munchkins play Killer and cheat. |
| Real Men | Wrath. |
| Real Roleplayers | Avarice. |
| Loonies | Nose-picking. (It is too a deadly sin! Look it up! Really!) |
| Munchkins | Sloth and Envy. |
| Real Men | drive anything that gets less than 8 MPG. |
| Real Roleplayers | drive anything that gets more than 25 MPG. |
| Loonies | drive anything that's painted more than 10 colors. |
| Munchkins | ride with Mom 'n' Dad in the minivan. |
| Real Men | play pool/pocket billiards. |
| Real Roleplayers | play darts. |
| Loonies | have towel fights. |
| Munchkins | avoid bedtime. |
| Real Men | like Led Zeppelin. |
| Real Roleplayers | like the editors of White Dwarf. |
| Loonies | like Parliament. |
| Munchkins | like Whitesnake. |
| Real Men | have an autographed football. |
| Real Roleplayers | have autographed Vangelis tickets. |
| Loonies | have fake vomit that, yes, even smells real. |
| Munchkins | have an autographed 'Masters of the Universe' poster. |
| Real Men | use IBM's |
| Real Roleplayers | use Mac's |
| Loonies | use video games |
| Munchkins | use whatever gives the most plusses |
| Real Men | read Soldier of Fortune and argue about whether the ads are real. |
| Real Roleplayers | read the Journal of Abnormal Psychology and argue about the point value of disadvantages. |
| Loonies | read National Lampoon and bitch about how it's gone downhill. |
| ... | Weekly World News. |
| Munchkins | read comic books and argue about whether Spider-Man should have married MJ. |
| ... | E. Gary Gygax introductions (they don't read the rules...) |
| Real Men | None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark. |
| Real Roleplayers | None. Darkness gives better atmosphere. |
| Loonies | Two. One to change the bulb, the other to make shadow puppets. |
| Munchkins | None. The light shines out of their ass anyway. |
| Real Men | don't believe in magic |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Elder Sign |
| Loonies | cast Summon Smurf |
| Munchkins | cast Control Cthulhu |
| Real Men | like Deep Ones |
| Real Roleplayers | don't like any of them |
| Loonies | like Masters of the Universe Slime |
| Munchkins | like Azathoth |
| Real Men | play Private Investigators |
| Real Roleplayers | play Professors of Ancient Egyptian Archaeology |
| Loonies | play Red Indian Sex Maniacs |
| Munchkins | play Magic-Users |
| Real Men | think this is how the world should be. |
| Real Roleplayers | think there's too much combat. |
| Loonies | think it's a great system for simulating reality. |
| Munchkins | think starting characters don't have enough points. |
| Real Men | like Bricks. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Mentalists. |
| Loonies | like Cream-Puff Projectors. |
| Munchkins | like visiting Gods. |
| Real Men | like Damage Resistance. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Telepathy. |
| Loonies | like Instant Change with the advantage Usable on Others. |
| Munchkins | like Autofire Find Weakness. |
| Real Men | like Strength. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Ego. |
| Loonies | like Comeliness. |
| Munchkins | like Speed. |
| Real Men | like Berserk. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Psychological Limitations. |
| Loonies | like Dependency on Spinach Egg Noodles. |
| Munchkins | like Unusual Looks. |
| Real Men | like Always On. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Limited Uses. |
| Loonies | like Activation on 8-. |
| Munchkins | like Focus and Multipower. |
| Real Men | demonstrate what'll happen to villians who injure hostages. |
| Real Roleplayers | create an illusion of the hostages getting away. |
| Loonies | taunt the villians. |
| Munchkins | waste the villians with their 10d6 Autofire Armor-Piercing Ranged Killing Attack, and use Regeneration Usable on Others to heal the injured bystanders. |
| Real Men | play Trolls or Redcaps |
| Real Roleplayers | play Sidhe or Eshu |
| Loonies | play Unseelie Pookah Grumps |
| Munchkins | play Vampire |
| Real Men | choose Paladin/Beast |
| Real Roleplayers | choose Troubador/Riddler |
| Loonies | choose Orchid/Grotesque |
| Munchkins | ... play Vampire |
| Real Men | use Primal |
| Real Roleplayers | use Sovereign |
| Loonies | use Chicanery |
| Munchkins | ... you know |
| Real Men | play Solos or Nomads |
| Real Roleplayers | play Fixers or Techies |
| Loonies | play Rockers |
| ... | play Politicians or Pizza-Delivery Men |
| ... | play Royal family poseur gangers |
| Munchkins | play Street Samurai or Psionic Vampires |
| ... | play any character with +10 in special ability - usually higher. |
| Real Men | use the Militech Advanced Assault Rifle |
| ... | United Nations Colonial marine corps M42 A2 |
| Real Roleplayers | use light SMGs |
| ... | use medium autopistols and light SMGs |
| ... | use Glock 30s or Baretta M20-Fs with gun-cams |
| Loonies | use a .22 Gatling |
| ... | use donuts |
| ... | use a buzz hand on a grapple fist as a ranged weapon |
| Munchkins | use a Barrett-Arasaka 20mm cannon, modified for fully automatic fire, with a sawed-off barrel and a cut-down stock to fit under an armoured long coat |
| ... | use the all-new 10mm man-portable railgun or, in a pinch, use an Anti-Matter Rifle |
| ... | have a remote control pad for a lunar rail gun or two |
| Real Men | wear MetalGear |
| Real Roleplayers | wear a light armour jacket |
| ... | wear Lawtech skintight |
| Loonies | wear a t-shirt and ripped jeans |
| ... | wear armored opera cloaks |
| ... | hide in armoured wheelie bins |
| Munchkins | get a Dragoon full-body conversion |
| ... | wear ACPA Powered Armor |
| Real Men | like reflex boosts and smartgun link (is this a trick question?) |
| Real Roleplayers | like interface plugs |
| ... | like inobvious cyberware |
| Loonies | like a forehead-mounted Mr Studd [TM] |
| ... | like the Cyber-Bar ... in both legs |
| Munchkins | get a HumanityRestoraTron [TM] |
| ... | like the Full Body Conversions, preferably the Dragoon model, with full inpatient therapy and really low Humanity Loss rolls |
| ... | like Gemini Full body conversions (so they can fit into their ACPA) and get it fitted at the Scandinavian clinics so they get no humanity loss on average. |
| Real Men | AV-4 with gatling cannon |
| Real Roleplayers | Bicycle |
| ... | Recumbent motorcycles or classic Harleys |
| Loonies | Advertising blimp |
| ... | Pedicabs |
| ... | Cyber scates |
| Munchkins | Punknaught with the works, with extra pepperoni AV-9s with full military loads, or the M-6 Main Battle Tank |
| Real Men | take out the REAL big gun and tell them to back off before they get hurt |
| Real Roleplayers | switch sides |
| ... | shout "You have the right to remain silent......." |
| Loonies | click the heels of their combat boots together and say "there's no place like home". |
| Munchkins | break their Trauma Team card |
| ... | call in a micro-Orbital strike |
| Real Men | kick the door down and wonder where the other PCs have gone |
| Real Roleplayers | look under doormat for keys |
| ... | use their B&E tools to casually but stealthily gain entrance |
| Loonies | ring the doorbell |
| Munchkins | use the Militech Plastic Explosive Delivery Service |
| ... | use Militech |
| ... | use detcord |
| Real Men | Bodyguard |
| Real Roleplayers | Librarian |
| ... | Fixers, console cowboys |
| Loonies | Quality Control personnel for Second
Chance/ |
| ... | Rodent Control personnel in Night City |
| Munchkins | CEO (at age 15) |
| ... | CEOs of three major megacorps by the time they're twenty |
| ... | set up their own corporation, and are rivals to Arasaka and EBM combined within 2 years |
| Real Men | like how expensive magic is. |
| Real Roleplayers | don't like how expensive magic is. |
| Loonies | like the bizzare disadvantages you can create. |
| Munchkins | like the crossover from Champions. |
| Real Men | play Dwarven Knights. |
| Real Roleplayers | play Elven Mages. |
| Loonies | play Halfling Knights. |
| Munchkins | play their Champions characters. |
| Real Men | wish there weren't any, so magic would be even more expensive. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Gestures, Incantation, and Concentrate. |
| Loonies | like Side Effects. |
| Munchkins | use the Champions rules. |
| Real Men | like any kind of magic greatsword. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Percieve and Illusions. |
| Loonies | like Dominate usable on Self Only. |
| Munchkins | like Blast, Variable Advantage, Reduced END to zero. |
| Real Men | think there aren't enough combats. |
| Real Roleplayers | think there aren't enough supplements. |
| Loonies | think there aren't enough disadvantages. |
| Munchkins | think there aren't enough hit points. |
| Real Men | like Combat Reflexes, Strong Will, High Pain Threshold and Toughness. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Charisma, Danger Sense, Empathy, Literacy and Voice. |
| Loonies | like Luck, Absolute Timing and Unusual Background. |
| Munchkins | like Magery 3, Patron (Superman), and PK (80). |
| Real Men | like Gigantism and Berserk |
| Real Roleplayers | like Sense of Duty and Poverty |
| Loonies | like Severe Delusions, Severe Phobias, Split Personality, Total Pacifism and Berserk - all at the same time. |
| Munchkins | like Enemies and Dependents (for the points). |
| Real Men | like Brawling, Two-Handed Sword, Broadsword and Shield. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Acting, Bard, Detect Lies, Diplomacy, Fast-Talk, Merchant, Savoir-Faire and Streetwise. |
| Loonies | like to use ALL skills at a default level of 5. |
| Munchkins | like Fast-Talk GM and Whine. |
| Real Men | don't use magic. |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Blur and Flash. |
| Loonies | cast Create Object (cream pies) and throw them. |
| Munchkins | cast Armor, Shield, Invisibility and Deathtouch. |
| Real Men | still don't use magic. |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Major Healing. |
| Loonies | cast Drunkenness on the other PCs. |
| Munchkins | cast Linking spells on everything they own. |
| Real Men | cast Flaming Weapon on their swords. |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Resist Fire. |
| Loonies | cast Cold on Fire Elementals. |
| Munchkins | cast Flame Jet 10 times (one on each finger!). |
| Real Men | cast Rear Vision so they can take on more enemies. |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Mage Sight. |
| Loonies | with Acrophobia cast Shapeshift:Eagle/Create Food on their friends' boots. |
| Munchkins | cast Analyze Magic. |
| Real Men | play Yeoman, Carnifex or the Black Shadow. |
| Real Roleplayers | play Popinjay or Chrysalis. |
| Loonies | play The Sleeper. |
| Munchkins | play The Astronomer or the Turtle. |
| Real Men | are COUP majors. |
| Real Roleplayers | are SCA or WUSE majors. |
| Loonies | are in Campus Insecurity. |
| Munchkins | major in Controlling the ArchDean. |
| Real Men | like Horseclans and Ice Age. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Space, Horror and Japan. |
| Loonies | like Toon. |
| Munchkins | like Fantasy, Horror and Autoduel - in the same game. |
| Real Men | want Wild West and World War II. |
| Real Roleplayers | want Illuminati. |
| Loonies | want Pet Rocks/ |
| Munchkins | want Supers and Mecha, to add to their
Fantasy/ |
| Real Men | "Fight the good fight, and die with your enemy's heart in your hands" |
| Real Roleplayers | "Knowledge is power, and the pen mightier than the sword" |
| Loonies | "There once was a man from Nantucket" |
| Munchkins | "I am God here" |
| Real Men | like the Bear for strength, or Bio-Mechanical table so he can be grafted to a tank |
| Real Roleplayers | like Stigmata for the angst |
| Loonies | like the Clown table |
| Munchkins | use the Greater God table |
| Real Men | like extra arms for the additional attack |
| Real Roleplayers | like extra sensory organs, so they can interact with the world better |
| Loonies | like the "privates on forehead" disfigurement |
| Munchkins | can't do without Undamagable Diamond Skin |
| Real Men | take Anti-Arcane so girly-man wizards can't slow him down |
| Real Roleplayers | take See Truth |
| Loonies | use Soil Underwear and Sour Milk often |
| Munchkins | like Inflict Hideous Flaming Death On Hundreds of People |
| Real Men | play a Nightbane with Spook Squad training |
| Real Roleplayers | play Astral Detectives or Mystics |
| Loonies | play Naturals and spend their PPE on "stupid human tricks" and "hosting info-mercials" |
| Munchkins | won't play any class without MDC armor |
| Real Men | take Telekinetic Punch - but don't need to use it |
| Real Roleplayers | Object Read |
| Loonies | Uncontrollable Spontaneous Combustion |
| Munchkins | Crush the Soul |
| Real Men | Superhuman Strength or Mystic Armor |
| Real Roleplayers | Eyes of Thoth, to read those manuscripts |
| Loonies | take the Swim as a Fish variant, "Sink Like a Stone" |
| Munchkins | Cause Nuclear Detonation, Create Astral Kingdom, and Summon and Control Nightlords |
| Real Men | the Nightlands, for the combat |
| Real Roleplayers | the Dreamstream, for the encounters |
| Loonies | a dark closet, so they make make spooky noises and scare themselves |
| Munchkins | think they rule any universe with matter and/or energy in it |
| Real Men | use 50 caliber machineguns and explosives |
| Real Roleplayers | use the written word |
| Loonies | use Nerf miniguns |
| Munchkins | complain they can't use MDC weapons from Rifts |
| Real Men | hate cultists - they die too easily |
| Real Roleplayers | hate NSB agents, for stealing everyone's civil rights |
| Real Loonies | hate that clown in the red wig - his burgers suck, but the french fries are good |
| Real Munchkins | hate everything without a treasure listing |
| Real Men | take their opponent to Valhalla with them |
| Real Roleplayers | deliver a final speech, to comfort friends and assure them that the cause is worth the sacrifice |
| Real Loonies | ask someone to hold their hand for the last few seconds, then laugh themselves to death after getting another victim with the old "get mortally wounded so you can Joy Buzzer the nearest putz" trick |
| Real Munchkins | don't understand this "dying" thing |
| Real Men | reload their weapons |
| Real Roleplayers | give thanks that the evil plans have been thwarted |
| Loonies | insist the combination of rubber bands, vanilla pudding, and Bing Crosby music saved the day |
| Munchkins | animate the bodies after searching them for treasure |
| Real Men | think the weapons are OK, but hate the background. |
| Real Roleplayers | think the campaigns are too short. |
| Loonies | think the game isn't funny enough. |
| Munchkins | don't think the game is supposed to be funny. |
| Real Men | like Armed Forces. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Tech Services and CPU. |
| Loonies | like R&D. |
| Munchkins | like IntSec. |
| Real Men | like Anti-Mutant, Frankenstein Destroyers, and PURGE. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Free Enterprise and Sierra Club. |
| Loonies | like Corpore Metal, Death Leopard, and Mystics. |
| Munchkins | like Psion. |
| Real Men | like Adrenalin Control. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Hypersenses. |
| Loonies | like Project Total Chaos. |
| Munchkins | like characters with the works. |
| Real Men | like cone rifles. |
| Real Roleplayers | like laser pistols. |
| Loonies | like chainsaws and anything from R&D. |
| Munchkins | like Plasma Generators. |
| Real Men | shoot Commie Mutant Traitors. |
| Real Roleplayers | shoot the Munchkins' characters. |
| Loonies | shoot anything fragile-looking. |
| Munchkins | shoot anything in sight, starting with the other PCs. |
| Real Men | like to hunt down Commie Mutant Traitors. |
| Real Roleplayers | like to try to survive the briefing. |
| Loonies | like to place themselves under surveillance and report hourly. |
| Munchkins | like to attack a rival Alpha Complex. |
| Real Men | play Borgs, Power Armor Pilots, and Juicers |
| Real Roleplayers | play Rogue Scientists, City Rats and Cyber-Knights |
| Loonies | play Crazies and Shapers |
| Munchkins | play whatever has the most MDC (usually an
Apok/ |
| Real Men | take boxing, for the extra attack |
| Real Roleplayers | take science or language skills |
| Loonies | take engineering and chemistry for their practical joke value |
| Munchkins | don't understand why skills not associated with weapons are important |
| Real Men | use rail guns and missile launchers |
| Real Roleplayers | use longbows and neural maces |
| Loonies | use Nerf weapons |
| Munchkins | use a mini-gun made out of six Boom Guns custom fit with ACME (tm) recoil suppressors |
| Real Men | prefer power armor or exoskeletons |
| Real Roleplayers | wear Triax "plain clothes" armor |
| Loonies | wrap themselves in toilet paper |
| Munchkins | wear the Invulnerable Coat of Arnd plus a never-needs recharging Naruni forcefield with 250,000 MDC |
| Real Men | wear anything that gives them enough PS to carry around real weapons or has its own B.F.G. |
| Real Roleplayers | hide behind the Real Men :) |
| Loonies | use anything with reactive armor |
| Munchkins | don't use anything with under 1,000 MDC |
| Real Men | prefer Coalition bots (for the look), or the Triax Devastator (for the firepower) |
| Real Roleplayers | prefer Behemoth explorers (with lots of space for keepsakes and research) |
| Loonies | still prefer anything with reactive armor |
| Munchkins | use the Death Star |
| Real Men | like bionic limbs and/or bionic reconstruction |
| Real Roleplayers | choose fingerjacks or translators |
| Loonies | like plastic vampire teeth and fake blood |
| Munchkins | take what ever will give them the most MDC bonuses |
| Real Men | smile and keep on shooting |
| Real Roleplayers | negotiate with their attackers |
| Loonies | feign death |
| Munchkins | rift in 50 adult dragons and hundred-handed |
| Real Men | bodyguards and mercenaries |
| Real Roleplayers | spies and scholars |
| Loonies | head of Coalition-Atlantis relations office |
| Munchkins | depose Splynn and take over the Megaverse |
| Real Men | Germany, for the constant battles |
| Real Roleplayers | Wormwood, for the new culture |
| Loonies | the bathtub, for undersea adventures |
| Munchkins | like to go where they can get the most credits |
| Real Men | don't play spellcasters, but like Superhuman Strength |
| Real Roleplayers | like anything associated with communication |
| Loonies | use Blinding Flash so as to conserve their camera batteries |
| Munchkins | wish there were as many spells as Dungeons and Dragons |
| Real Men | love Sixth Sense and Mind Block |
| Real Roleplayers | prefer Object Read and Empathy |
| Loonies | like Hydrokinesis so they can sense open water within a 20' radius |
| Munchkins | have them all at first level |
| Real Men | Open up with full melee sprays until their weapon systems of their huge bot vehicles over heat |
| Real Roleplayers | Summon an anti-magic cloud and go Heeh-heeh! Sorry about your life! |
| Loonies | Strike a bargain with the enemy |
| Munchkins | Bring in the SDF 3 out of orbit, do a body-block ram that does 10d20 x 1000 MDC |
| Real Men | think the magicians are too powerful |
| Real Roleplayers | think the background is excellent but the rules need heavy revision |
| Loonies | like any game where you can play a Rocker |
| Munchkins | like any game that's complicated enough to increase their chances of a successful rules rape |
| Real Men | ... if you have to ask, you haven't played it so never mind. |
| Real Roleplayers | liked the planning of how to break into Euphoria's penthouse |
| Loonies | liked the idea of a module based on 21st century junk food |
| Munchkins | like getting all the weapons & armor |
| Real Men | use hand razors |
| Real Roleplayers | use Skill Wires 6 |
| Loonies | have cortex bombs |
| Munchkins | have Wired Reflexes 4 |
| Real Men | play Street samurai (Troll if possible) |
| Real Roleplayers | play adepts |
| Loonies | play Deckers (anyone will do if they're cyberpsychotic) |
| Munchkins | play street Mages |
| Real Men | use Bear |
| Real Roleplayers | use Coyote |
| Loonies | use Koala |
| Munchkins | use Western Dragon |
| Real Men | use an AK-98 assault rifle |
| Real Roleplayers | use a Walter 2100 sniper rifle |
| Loonies | use a Narcoject rifle that shoots darts with a powerful halucigen, then randomly snipe at people on the street |
| Munchkins | use grenade launchers |
| Real Men | use battle axes or Killing Hands |
| Real Roleplayers | use monomolecular whips |
| Loonies | use their pocket secretary |
| Munchkins | use a Force 5 power focus Katana |
| Real Men | can't understand the game at all. |
| Real Roleplayers | think the game is silly. |
| Loonies | think the game is about them. |
| Munchkins | want to play their 700-point Champions character. |
| Real Men | play Near Humans. |
| Real Roleplayers | play Humans. |
| Loonies | play green fuzzy blobs that drip slime. |
| Munchkins | play Deities. |
| Real Men | have Superspeed, Monster Out, and Superstrength. |
| Real Roleplayers | have Teleport, Deep Freeze, and Talk to Aliens. |
| Loonies | have Bounce, Summon Pizza, and Telephone. |
| Munchkins | have all of them. |
| Real Men | like Shoot Big Raygun and Flying Saucer Piloting. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Figure Things Out and Look Cool in Shades. |
| Loonies | like Weird Science and Eat Anything. |
| Munchkins | like Do Anything I Want. |
| Real Men | like Zap Guns. |
| Real Roleplayers | like Duplicator Guns. |
| Loonies | like Goop Guns and Boy/ |
| Munchkins | like AT-AT Walkers. |
| Real Men | use flying saucers. |
| Real Roleplayers | use the Number 42 Crosstown Expedience Route. |
| Loonies | use Rocket Sneakers. |
| Munchkins | use Battlestars. |
| Real Men | Don't like to adhere to the Superhero Code enforced by the government. |
| Real Roleplayers | Join the government peacekeeping force. |
| Loonies | Represent themselves at their trials. |
| Munchkins | Are above the Superhero Code (aren't they?) |
| Real Men | Play 600 pound Bricks. |
| Real Roleplayers | Play telepaths. |
| Loonies | Play insane androids. |
| Munchkins | Play alien sorcerers. |
| Real Men | Like Invulnerability and Armor A. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Psionics. |
| Loonies | Like Mutant Power. |
| Munchkins | Like Power Absorption. |
| Real Men | Like Endurance. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Intelligence. |
| Loonies | Like Charisma. |
| Munchkins | Like Agility. |
| Real Men | Like Mute. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Physical Handicap. |
| Loonies | Like Psychosis. |
| Munchkins | What weaknesses? |
| Real Men | Pound villains into the ground or throw buses. |
| Real Roleplayers | Wear their opponents down before finishing them off. |
| Loonies | Dump a bucket of Cool Whip on a villain's head and talk about Planet of the Apes. |
| Munchkins | Negate their friend's attacks so they get all the experience themselves. |
| Real Men | Like the Fastball Special. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like to trick villains into attacking each other instead of the heroes. |
| Loonies | Like Multiple Back Attacks. |
| Munchkins | Like Multiple Weakness Detection. |
| Real Men | Like Death Duel with the Destroyers. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like FORCE. |
| Loonies | Like The Dawn of DNA. |
| Munchkins | Like Devil's Domain and Dawn of the Devil. |
| Real Men | Like Bull. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like FIST. |
| Loonies | Like Mocker. |
| Munchkins | Like Mercury Mercenary. |
| Real Men | Like Enforcer. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Dreamweaver. |
| Loonies | Like Laserfire. |
| Munchkins | Think the Crusaders are wimps. |
| Real Men | Like Behemoth. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Iron Maiden. |
| Loonies | Like Ratman. |
| Munchkins | Like Annihilator. |
| Real Men | Like Adonis. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Cockroach. |
| Loonies | Like Shee-Ariel. |
| Munchkins | Like Dr. DNA. |
| Real Men | Like Mister Magnum. |
| Real Roleplayers | Like Shadarkos. |
| Loonies | Like Cicada. |
| Munchkins | Like FORCE. |
| Real Men | slap them on the back and buy them a round before the game. |
| Real Roleplayers | occasionally let them win so they don't get hurt. |
| Loonies | harass them with stupid tactics and opinions. |
| Munchkins | say "I'm a Real Man, too!" |
| Real Men | keep them handy during battle, on the off chance they may come up with something useful. |
| Real Roleplayers | start long and civil debates with them about the functionality of the opposing army and how it could be better equipped. |
| Loonies | annoy them with incessant irrelevance. |
| Munchkins | say "I'm a Real Roleplayer, too!" |
| Real Men | play around them. |
| Real Roleplayers | sometimes send them reeling by taking a stupid comment and turning it into a victory. |
| Loonies | order all the rest of the army to watch in silence as their snotlings duke it out. |
| Munchkins | try to imitate the jokes, and fall flat. |
| Real Men | slay their figures without mercy. |
| Real Roleplayers | trick them into playing against the Real Men. |
| Loonies | offer reasonable-sounding tactics that will ultimately get them annihilated in varied and interesting ways. |
| Munchkins | query, "What's a Munchkin?" |
| Real Men | Shout their war cry, and wade into hand to hand combat with their foes. |
| Real Roleplayers | maneuver, shoot, and flank, so that they lose as few men as possible. |
| Loonies | kick the opposing player under the table and blame it on the dog. |
| Munchkins | ever hear of herohammer? |
| Real Men | in battle, with boots on, going down swinging. |
| Real Roleplayers | impaled with an arrow through the heart, offering a fairwell speech. |
| Loonies | impaled with a rubber arrow through the noggin, need I say more? |
| Munchkins | "Sorry my characters are indestructable" |
| Real Men | Empire, favoring the big guns. |
| Real Roleplayers | Use their own, well constructed army lists. |
| Loonies | Orcs & Goblins, favoring the wacky side. |
| Munchkins | Whatever is the most recent army allied with whatever is the most cheese laden. |
| Real Men | The University of Altdorf |
| Real Roleplayers | Write their own page, but don't often surf the net. |
| Loonies | The Insane Asylum of Altdorf |
| Munchkins | Whatever provides the most hints and dirty tricks. |
| Real Men | Tough it out and buy and field only whats available (ouch!) |
| Real Roleplayers | Chaos spawn conversions showing every gift. |
| Loonies | Skaven Warpfire throwers riding blind cockatrices. (Mmm Mmm Fried Chicken!) |
| Munchkins | Frenzied Chaos Lords riding Bloodthirsters. (as long as someone else does the modeling) |
| Real Men | General with a magic sword. |
| Real Roleplayers | Mages with the "appropriate" magic deck. |
| Loonies | casting "retsalbeseehc" at total power. (it is Tony's spell,ask him!) |
| Munchkins | Forbidden Rod + Amber Amulet (or a thousand other hideous combos) |
| Real Men | War Horses |
| Real Roleplayers | Halflings |
| Loonies | Rat Swarm mounted Snotlings or is it Snotling mounted Rat Swarms, or both! |
| Munchkins | Giants and Emperor Dragons |
| Real Men | Use the Munchkin's dice |
| Real Roleplayers | Don't need to. |
| Loonies | Fudge rolls in order to make their shaman's head pop, mage go stupid, Gobbla attack friendly units, wizard succumb to the power of chaos, etc... |
| Munchkins | Use loaded dice and spring photocopies of select portions of White Dwarf on the unwary. |
| Real Men | Any kind, as long as it is out of the way of the fight. |
| Real Roleplayers | Whatever is relevant to the current scenario. |
| Loonies | Necromunda terrain, narrow bridges and ravines with wide units. |
| Munchkins | A forest table covering when using wood elves. |
| Real Men | Elector Counts |
| Real Roleplayers | Write histories and model their own. |
| Loonies | Grom the Paunch of Misty Mountain crammed into a steam tank! |
| Munchkins | Nagash the clown. |
| Real Men | cast WAAAAGH! or Drain Magic. |
| Real Roleplayers | cast Coruscation of Finreir, Glamour of Teclis, Skitterleap, and Vanhels Danse Macabre. |
| Loonies | cast most anything and target their own units more often then not. "I had to cast Net on my unit of stikkas, they were WAY to far ahead of everyone else and I didn't want to make anyone jealous!" |
| Munchkins | go for fiery convocation every time or select curse of years as an old fallback. |
| Real Men | use the creeping hand as a warrior familiar. |
| Real Roleplayers | use whatever fits the theme of the army. |
| Loonies | use a live slug as a power familiar. (how many amps before they overload the charge though??) |
| Munchkins | use emperor dragons as a "familiar". |
| Real Men | prefer where the action is fiercest such as the chaos wastes. |
| Real Roleplayers | enjoy Ulthuan where they can enjoy relative peace. |
| Loonies | hang out at Bugman's Brewery or other such establishments. |
| Munchkins | follow everyone around asking "can I come too" and "are we there yet?" |
| Real Men | WAAAAAGH! |
| Real Roleplayers | Book of Grudges |
| Loonies | Squig or Goblobba |
| Munchkins | Forbidden Rod |
| Real Men | "You name the time and place, then prepare to die." |
| Real Roleplayers | like to game on their painstakingly crafted gaming table complete with appropriately scaled and modeled terrain and weather conditions. |
| Loonies | like to use actual historical fields of battle to game on, they just tend to lose a lot of miniatures in the fields that way, oh, and the games take forever! |
| Munchkins | have to go to the local gaming store to play, since there are occasionally new players there who don't know their methods. |
| Real Men | eat raw meat and drink flagons of ale. |
| Real Roleplayers | are often too engrossed in the game to eat...or drink...or sleep! |
| Loonies | eat lead filings and drink from the paint cleaning cup. |
| Munchkins | smear cheeto dust on everything and spill their soda. |
| Real Men | Lots of Skeles. |
| Real Roleplayers | Zombies. |
| Loonies | Full scale carrion. (so the ghosts on top don't look so tiny!) |
| Munchkins | Vampire Lords with select magical equipment. |
| Real Men | Black Orcs or Big'uns. |
| Real Roleplayers | Savage Orcs with Forest Goblins. |
| Loonies | An all squig-hopper and snotling army. |
| Munchkins | Units of giants complete with standard, musician, and 3 rank bonus. |
| Real Men | Clansmen and Ironbreakers. |
| Real Roleplayers | Bugman's Rangers and Dwarven Miners. |
| Loonies | Those Intoxicated Dwarves. |
| Munchkins | Invisible Gyrocopter-mounted Organ "Cannons". |
| Real Men | Sauruses. |
| Real Roleplayers | Anything as long as it is from the same spawning. |
| Loonies | Real Salamanders and Frogs. |
| Munchkins | avoid everything with mouths larger than their heads. |
| Real Men | Tree-men. |
| Real Roleplayers | Wardancers. |
| Loonies | Warsinganddanceandclapandshouters. |
| Munchkins | A couple Orion's. |
| Real Men | Strictly Khorne. |
| Real Roleplayers | Beastmen. |
| Loonies | enjoy Khorne on the Cob. (boo!) |
| Munchkins | Use their converted bloodthirster/chaos lord models. |
| Real Men | Bull Centaurs. |
| Real Roleplayers | Blunderbusses. (sp?) |
| Loonies | Any, they all have those funny hats! |
| Munchkins | Earthshakers. |
| Real Men | Plague Monks or Stormvermin. |
| Real Roleplayers | Grey Seers on Screaming Bells. |
| Loonies | Warpfire detonators errrr, throwers. |
| Munchkins | the council of 13. |
| Real Men | Executioners. |
| Real Roleplayers | play with witch elves, but not for very long. |
| Loonies | unmounted cold ones, they also sip tea from the cauldron. |
| Munchkins | 50 point repeaters, they would play with more, but they are too busy complaining about the lack of models. |
| Real Men | White Lions of Chrace. (the only manly unit in the entire army) |
| Real Roleplayers | Reaver Knights. |
| Loonies | use ancient phoenix kings, "watch as I make the model "reborn" in true fiery phoenix fashion!" |
| Munchkins | Dragon Princes with their "proper" mounts. |
| Real Men | Knights. |
| Real Roleplayers | Knights. |
| Loonies | Ka-niggits. |
| Munchkins | Knights.(what else is there?) |
| Real Men | Knights. (no this is not a continuation of the Brets!) |
| Real Roleplayers | Hockland Longrifles and War-wagons. |
| Loonies | join in the fun of the flagellants. |
| Munchkins | Steam Tanks, lots of 'em. |
| Real Men | play Brujah, Gangrel, and Assamites |
| Real Roleplayers | play Malkavians, Nosferatu, and Giovanni |
| Loonies | play "the Count" |
| Munchkins | play Werewolves |
| Real Men | use silver bullets and ashwood stakes |
| Real Roleplayers | convince other vampires to kill their enemies for them |
| Loonies | use silver stakes and ashwood bullets |
| Munchkins | play Werewolves |
| Real Men | try to destroy Vampire Hunters as messily as possible |
| Real Roleplayers | try to become Prince |
| Loonies | try to Blood Bond Caine |
| Munchkins | play Werewolves |
| Real Men | play Get of Fenris or Red Talons |
| Real Roleplayers | play Bone Gnawers and Wendigos |
| Loonies | run around and howl in other players' ears |
| Munchkins | play Were...oh yeah, they ARE Werewolves... |
| Real Men | have Protean, Celerity, and Fortitude |
| Real Roleplayers | have Obfuscate, Presence, and Auspex |
| Loonies | have Nec-romance, Forty-two'd, and Numberate |
| Munchkins | have them all at level 10 |
| Real Men | like Strenght of Thor |
| Real Roleplayers | like The Falling Touch and Sense Wyrm |
| Loonies | are gifted with Stupidity |
| Munchkins | start with a Werewolf Rank 6 and have them all |